A BLACK SCREEN

MAY (V.O)
(teasing)
But I want to open my eyes!
I’m going to count down from three…

MIKE (V.O)
(excited)
Hold on, hold on.

MAY (V.O)
(laughing)
3…

MIKE (V.O)
Almost there…

MAY (V.O)
2…

MIKE (V.O)
Are your eyes shut?

MAY (V.O)
1…

MIKE (V.O)
Okay… You can open them now.

FADE IN:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR – DAY. (PRESENT DAY)

MAY is an overweight, middle-aged woman. She is sitting down on a dirty double bed with a box sat on her lap, wrapped in a bow. MIKE is a thin, scruffy-looking man in his mid-twenties. He is standing in front of May.

The cellar is dark and minimalistic. It contains only the double bed, a lamp, a few video cameras and a tripod. There are three cages full of baby mice on the floor.

May starts to unwrap her present. She is missing three fingers on her left hand. Her right hand is bandaged up.

May
(thrilled)
Is this for me?

Mike
Happy anniversary, sweetie.

May unwraps the present and holds up a pair of red high-heeled shoes.

May
I love them. Thank you!

May stands up and hugs Mike. Mike recoils.

Mike
Really? I wasn’t sure…

May
Are you serious? They’re good enough to eat!

May turns them in her hands with a smile on her face.

May
(nostalgic)
Has it really been a year already?

SHOCK CUTS TO FLASHBACK:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR – NIGHT. (6 MONTHS AGO)

May is screaming, crying, and looking down at her left hand.

SHOCK CUTS BACK TO PRESENT.

Mike
That’s not all…

May
(slightly dazed from her nostalgia)
No?

Mike
We’re going out tonight.

May shivers and looks up from the shoes, towards Mike.

Mike
I’ve met this group of people. They love you. I mean,
they love us. They want to meet you.
Think of the publicity.
Think what this could do for us.

May
(confused)
But, I thought we were doing well?

Mike
(animated)
We are, we are. But we’ve got to keep trying new things.
You’re a niche… And niche is tough.

May
(looking at her left hand)
But, you said –

CUTS TO FLASHBACK:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR – NIGHT. (6 MONTHS AGO)

May is lying on the floor holding on to her bloodied left hand, which is missing three fingers. Mike walks in with a plate of food which has on it mashed potato and three oddly-shaped sausages.

Mike
It’s okay. It’s all okay now.
We’ll never have to do that again, okay?
We’ll just stick to eating from now on.
I made this for you… You’ve got to eat.
Okay?

May cautiously reaches out towards the plate.

Mike
You’ve got to wait for the camera though.
You know how it is.

CUTS TO ANOTHER FLASHBACK:

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT. (1 YEAR AGO)

Mike is sat at a dinner table looking nervous.

May walks in, looks around, talks to a member of staff before she walks over to Mike and sits down.

May
(confidently)
Hi, Mike is it?

Mike knocks over a glass of water when trying to shake May’s hand. He is noticeably embarrassed.

Mike
(sheepishly)
Yeah, that’s me. Sorry about –

May
(interrupting)
That’s alright, no harm done.
It’s not every day that I get to meet my biggest fan.

Mike smiles and puts the glass back upright.

May
So, how long have you been watching my videos?

Mike
(blushing)
Ever since I was a kid.

DISSOLVES TO ANOHER FLASHBACK:

INT. MIKE’S CHILDHOOD HOME – NIGHT. (5 YEARS AGO)

Mike is twenty and in his old room. He is sat behind a desk watching his laptop.

CLOSE UP OF THE LAPTOP SCREEN.

A younger, slimmer May is on screen. She is sat in lingerie on a bed with a bag next to her.

May
Hello everyone! It’s May Mayonnaise here.
Are you hungry today?
Me too…

May pulls a bottle of squeezy mayonnaise out of her bag.

May
Look what I found. Mmm… I’m so hungry.
Should I put it in my mouth?

May SQUIRTS the mayonnaise into her mouth but misses and gets it on her body.

ZOOM OUT TO REVEAL Mike touching himself whilst watching the video.

Mike’s Mum (O.S)
Mike, dinner’s ready!

May (O.C)
I guess I’ll just have to take off my clothes…

Mike
(shouting downstairs)
I’m coming!

Mike ejaculates onto the screen.

He wipes his come off the screen with his left hand and looks at it.

CUTS BACK TO FORMER FLASHBACK:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. FOYER – NIGHT. (1 YEAR BEFORE THE PRESENT)

May and Mike are drunk and kissing passionately in the foyer.

May
(impassioned)
Tell me again.

Mike
I’m going to make you big.

May
Again.

Mike
You’re going to be huge.

May
(aroused)
Yeah I am.

May pulls away from Mike and looks him up and down.

May
Where’s your bed? Upstairs?

Mike hesitates.

Mike
Down here. I’ll show you.

Mike and May go down into the cellar.

They continue to kiss on the bed and begin to take off each other’s clothes.

Screen cuts to black and MOANS are heard.

CUTS BACK TO PRESENT DAY:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR – NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

May
(worried)
Do we have to go?

Mike
Don’t you want to be big?

May
(gesturing to her body)
Look at me. I’m already big.

Mike
(irritated)
Put your shoes on. We’re going out.

SHOCK CUTS TO FLASHBACK:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR – NIGHT (6 MONTHS AGO)

May
(screaming and crying)
Let me out! Why are you doing this? Let me out!

Mike enters the cellar with his hands behind his back.

May
My fans will find me and they will kill you.
D’you hear me? You’re dead meat.

Mike reveals his left hand, holding a cucumber.

May
(laughing through tears)
Brilliant. Another freak into weird food porn.
I’m not a performing monkey and I’m not a fucking vegetarian.
A cucumber? How fucking original.

 

Mike
You’ll thank me later.

Mike reveals his right hand, holding a brown takeaway bag.

Mike
Let’s have some dessert first?

CUTS BACK TO PRESENT.

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR -NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

May and Mike enter the cellar together. Mike locks the door behind them and places the key into his pocket.

May turns and kisses Mike passionately.

May
(elated)
That was incredible! The restaurant, the food, the people…
They love me. They actually love me.

Mike
(hesitant)
I’m not sure. I don’t want you to get ideas.

May
(worried)
Ideas? You know I would never leave. It was nice but –

Mike
(interrupting)
That’s not what I mean.

May
(confused)
Then what –

Mike
(interrupting)
You know what… The things that they were saying.

May
(curious)
Wasn’t that the point of tonight? To try new things?
(determined)
If that’s what the internet wants, then I’ll do it. One hundred
percent.
(after a long pause)
Aren’t you curious though?

Mike
(disgusted)
Not in the slightest.

May
(looking down at her left hand)
I wonder what I’d taste like…

Mike looks at May’s left hand and then turns away quickly. He walks over to the cages of mice and picks one up.

May starts to take off her heels.

Mike
(dictatorial)
No, no – keep them on.
We have a show to do.

May
(confused)
With the mice?

Mike pulls an object out from under the bed with his right hand whilst his left hand still holds the cage of mice. It is a square-meter glass container with three-inch tall sides.

Mike empties the cage of mice out into the container. He picks up another cage and does the same and then again with the last cage.

May watches, fascinated and fearful.

Mike sets up the camera and tripod.

May
(speechless)
What-

Mike
(interrupting)
It’s called crushing. It’s new.

May
(instantly)
I don’t want to.

Mike
(dictatorial)
Your fans do though.
Ready? We’re live in 3…

May looks shocked and disgusted.

Mike
2…

May looks at her heels with realisation.

Mike
1…

May slowly steps into the container.

Off camera SQUEAKING mice are heard.

May shuts her eyes and begins to walk in the square. She rubs her head with her left hand in anguish then opens her eyes and examines the place where three fingers are missing. She smiles slightly and begins to walk. Mike looks horrified.

CRUNCHING and SQUEAKING is heard.

CUTS TO BLACKSCREEN:

CRUNCHING and SQUEAKING is continuous throughout May’s voiceover.

May (V.O)
If that’s what the internet wants, then I’ll do it.
One hundred percent.

CUTS TO:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. CELLAR – NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)

May is manically laughing and walking in the container.

CRUNCHING and SQUEAKING is still heard, but is quieter now.

Mike gags and puts his hand over his mouth before running off screen.

VOMITING sounds are heard off screen.

May takes off a bloodied heel and looks at it in her hand. May turns and looks at the camera.

SHOCK CUTS TO:

INT. MIKE’S HOUSE. THE KITCHEN – DAWN.

The kitchen is white, minimalistic and futuristic.

A steak is frying in a pan.

May is at the kitchen sink, washing blood off of her hands.

May goes over to the steak, stabs a fork into it and puts it on to a plate before sitting down.

May cuts a slice of steak, goes to eat it and then gets up.

May returns with a video camera, places it on the table in front of her and begins to film.

THE END.