We fucked that night. We fucked like werewolves.
A carnal desire invoked me and ran through my nerves like a poison, a disease. It encapsulated my body and burned through my skin. Sweat dripped off me like beads of fat rolling off of a piece of meat. Itching and searching, I couldn’t keep my hands still. They needed a victim to hold, something to grasp on to. I could hear the beating heart of a hunter, edging his way forward, ready to kill. And her breathe, slow yet uneven, like the glugging of water on a hot day.
Before me stood a creature. A nymph. Underneath her fur coat I could see her chest inhaling, exhaling, inhaling… Her mane of hair was distressed and ran through her sodden coat, dancing with the tortoiseshell material. It was impossible to know where her fur stopped and her skin began. Her eyes were fixed upon me, yet saw right through me, aflame with understanding.
Never taking her eyes off of me, she approached me, slowly, like a cautious rabbit creeping forward from its cage. I ran my fingers through the back of her hair and fur then tightened my hand into a fist. She moaned and closed her eyes. Her lips were open and raw, showing only the rim of her teeth and the tip of her tongue. I slid my other hand up her body and tore open the coat, like cutting into a rare steak. The buttons fired off like shrapnel.
Underneath her coat lay a thin draped dress. It hung from her collarbones like a casing of collagen hanging from two slaughterhouse hooks. All flesh lay bare beneath. Her purple veins glowed through her piglet pink skin, creating a marbled effect found only in the most aged of meat. A nibble alone could separate the transparent fabric from the prize beneath. I reached both hands out and with a minute scratch of my nails the dressing fell to the ground.
I licked up the sweat that rested on the mound of her breasts. The taste was salted, seasoned to perfection, with an edge of spice and an aftershock of hot iron. I ran my tongue down her chest, chasing a rampant bead of sweat, down towards her nipple. I slowed my pace and turned my tongue around her blush areola. I let my teeth scrape against the tip of her teat before biting down just hard enough to hear her squirm and feel her body tremble from my touch.
I ripped the garment from her bones like a sheath. The fabric wavered between my fingers like a fish gasping for air. My hands grasped a handful of hair and knotted it between my fist. She was gasping for air: sucking it in as if she were a scuba-diver lost at sea. She looked at the anticipation in my eyes and let loose. She slowed down and moved in. She was a shark diving for the taste of blood, for the feel of my lips against hers.
She wanted me. She bit down on my bottom lip and drank at my saliva, praying for the chance for it to touch her lungs, praying that it would pass through her body. I watched her eyes close and her mouth exhale. She was yearning for me, breathing for my benefit and mine alone. She bit down on her thin and vulnerable tongue whilst letting out a deep sigh. Whether it was a sigh of release or relief, I didn’t know. I didn’t care.
Her mouth shaped mine and encapsulated it so that we were enrealmed in a frenzy of feeling. I edged myself deeper and deeper, until I could burrow no more. I felt her teeth glide themselves along my bottom lip. She tugged it down slightly before raising herself up and biting down on my upper lip, releasing a wave of blood. She had unleashed an animal and it was wild.
I filled her mouth with my tongue until she was near choking. I ran my fingers under the waist of my boxers before peeling them back like a top layer of skin. She was in my arms, flesh on flesh, gasping for breath. I calmed her with a stroke from my hand and gently guided her to my cock. I wanted to feel her throat surround my shaft, her hot air on my skin.
She proceeded to take me into her mouth and suck. I could feel myself being pulled down as if gravity was against me. I started to fall and felt every drop of life drain from me. The world seemed so little, so far away in that moment. My senses turned numb as I slowly switched off and revelled in the momentary ecstasy. It made me feel weak, it made me succumb.
Her back arched as she crawled up my body and rested her eyes upon mine. We drooled over each other like a fried appetiser, bursting with flavour. Every kiss burned through her skin, inactivating an intoxicating perfume and an array of colour. All I could see was red: dark and consuming, fulfilling and excluding.
She climbed down and onto me. Inch by inch she slowly edged me further in. Every stride bought a louder moan, a deeper gasp. She was enraptured in a world of ecstasy, a world outside my own. The more she pulled me in the more that I wanted to be with her, she was the drug and I was addicted. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I swam deeper and deeper into the cave, praying to drown, praying to take my last breath. I dived further and further until I could reach no more and that’s where I found it. I found everything that I had ever been missing. I found myself. And then, I felt content. I could feel my backbone pressing against my skin and tearing through like a ripe orange as the zest of me came to light. It was translucent and beautiful, acidic and raw. I was myself.
I was a hunter, a capturer. I had found a fragile being; a vulnerable siren and I had made her my own. I had done what every man wanted to do and I was a hero. I lived on.
I lived on until the next day.
The next day was good now.
The next day was bleak as always.
Let me in, please just let me in. I want to help you.
I want to be alone.
But you don’t need to be. I understand your pain and I know that life can be hard, but it’s not your fault and neither is it mine. It’s a part of us, an intricate idiosyncrasy that makes us human. Mortality is subjective, it’s what you make of life that counts.
What’s the point? Day after day after night of the same thing. Eat, work, sleep, repeat. I don’t belong in this world.
– And you’re better for it. You see past the bullshit and the chains of conformity. Don’t you see? You are free. We’re the same, you and me.
I have never quite fit in or found my place or even found someone to love. I am always an outcast, constantly running, whether running from or to, I cannot keep still. It makes me dizzy and drives me mad. I want to find a way out.
You don’t need to – you are perfect. You don’t fit in because you are greater than this world, don’t let anyone tell you any different. Just let me go.
You would be far too greatly missed. It’s a shame that such beautiful animals die at the hands of slaughter. Great lions, kings of the jungle, are reduced to feature-pieces in homes and ingredients for medicine. Beautiful and powerful whales are ground up and crammed into womens’ lipstick. Why would you bring this upon yourself? Why choose this as your fate? Are you a hunter – an arrogant monster – or a unique creation?
You fascinate me.
Why are you here?
I want to be needed.
I need to be wanted.
They fucked that night. They fucked like rabbits.