Conversation with a Cat/A Misunderstanding of a Date

(a spoken-word monologue)

Mmm, yeah…

Stacking shelves, shovelling shit, stacking shelves, shovelling shit, shovelling shelves and stacking shit and shit and other shelves, and shit.

So then the timer in my head clicks and it’s 4 and I can click out, I’m clicked in, but now I’m clicking out. Tick-tock, hickory-dickory-dock, the mouse! The mouse! Don’t you dare eat that mouse! You have cuisine, courtesy [cuirtesy] of mine [meen].

He’s okay. The mouse. And then it’s 4, no more. So then I open the hole in the door and I’m in a different scene and I seen the heat and the brights. They shined so light! The fire was crawling and playing… No! Not the mouse! The mouse is FINE. It’s not crawling. The clock, it’s 4, you see?

That’s when I see. I see Tom, like you, Tom. Tom-cat, my cat. M-Kat. Not M-Kat! Not today, cat, not everyday, cat. Not on a Monday, no.  Meow, meow to you! I know you don’t like M-Kat, cat. I mean, cat, you like cat. You are Tom. And, woah – he was Tom too!  He was a man and he was a tom, cat! Not cat, Tom. Tom too. Two not three. Three’s a crowd, they say, who say? I dunno.

He was a man and he said, ‘let’s go, you look nice’. You see? Just like that, not like this. That. Not this! You never say things, anythings, you never say anything. Nothing nice anyway, not anyday.

And Tom two, he was on to me. He’s all over me and into me. Really into me and he knows, you know? He knows our plan. And the ‘tick’ goes off again. But not for me, for him. He ticks and the clock goes and the mouse… The mouse! That bloody mouse won’t leave us alone! Don’t eat the mouse! Tell him to leave.

And he leaves, the mouse, not Tom two. Not the mouse and Tom too. He’s Tom two, not too. But he is too because of you, you see?

But, butt… Crack! I cracked the code. Crack. No you don’t snort it, you snap it and crack it and smoke it and put it up and leave it and it comes out and you crack. You both crack, you know? But no, butt… crack. Not today, sometimes, but not today. Sometimes, but not all the time. It is Monday! Not crack anyday, everyday, all the time. Anyway and any why and anyhow. Pay attention.

I know,I I I I knew that he knew, and I know he knew that I knew. I said, well, I said, ‘Partners’. And he wants to be my partner. He said yeah, just like that, not like this, or that or anyhow! But we didn’t discuss the plan because we both knew, you know? We’ll keep it quiet. You be quiet! Pay attention. So quiet. TICK. Not tick. Get that mouse away. I need to stop ticking, and picking. But just a bit more. You gotta lace it, to embrace it and taste it and when it hits it rings. The clock rings! This is good. I’ll share.

Our hands of coffee go, and it was hot. So hot. The light brights hit again and we were back in the other place, the heat and the fire and crawling. No mice! No. He says am I single and I say know. He thinks I said no but I didn’t I said know. Because he knows. Not nose. Not slimey and sick and green and up. He’s down. He said he’s down. He’s down for me. He likes me. I know he knows, you know, and he’s going to help. Maybe with him as my partner I can be alone and they will stop tormenting me. I fear the tick and the tock and it chases me. But I’ll chase it right back. I’ll chase the dragon right back into the mouse and up the clock and up and up and into the fire of the light brights.

And me and Tom two, and Tom too and will get down. He wants to get down with me. He whispered it gently.

We chase the dragon everyday. And MDMA. MDMAnyday.

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