Ladies and Gentleman (and non-binaries), I have written and illustrated a book which I have self-published on Amazon. The book is called Phonetic A Bee Seas, a rather hilarious pun on ‘ABCs’, if I say so myself.

Follow Tommy Fire-Tiger and Daisy Wood-Dog as they explore the Phonetic Alphabet together. You may be fooled by the cute cartoonish drawings inside, but this book is strictly NOT for children. Phonetic A Bee Seas includes the following: sex and drug references, adult language, graphic images and bad puns.

What started off as a silly inside joke between myself, and my partner at the time, quickly developed into random doodles and nonsensical scribbles. I found that the project was something to focus myself on during lockdown, a release and a form of entertainment no less.

My ex-partner was a pilot and used the Phonetic Alphabet on the daily, something of which I have neither remembered or understood. My anxiety builds every time a person uses it to spell out their postcode: “Echo Tango Foxtrot Six Seven Nine Bravo Sierra”. I’m left trying to form some sort of sentence out of the mess, flabbergasted. Aghast. Or worse, they ask me to use it. Why not “Egg Toe Fishfingers Six Seven Nine Bumblebee Sausage-Loops”?? It’s beyond me.

My book explores the ‘real’ Phonetic Alphabet whilst also suggesting a fun alternative. It’s for those of you that use it on the daily, those who wish to learn, or for those who enjoy an easy laugh. You can find it available to buy here.

Here’s a cheeky preview: