“Rosie, put down Rufus and help me collect poppies. Poppies are red. The red ones with floppy leaves and a black centre.” Earth to Rosie. “The ones that smell like honey and pond-water.” Still nothing. “The ones that taste like bitter lemon and mouldy grass.” Seriously? “The big ladybirds on a stick,” Lily barked to her younger sister. Continue reading Poppies are Red
Rocking up looking like Kelly Clarkson, circa 2006.
My head literally wants to tear itself off of my own body though.
Help me, heeeeelp, there’s a rabid badger clawing at my scalp! Continue reading Dear Wanker-Hairdresser, (Barry Saga, Part One)
Written in 2014, inspired by Timothy West’s ‘This Gun That I Have in My Right Hand is Loaded’ (1972)
To be used as en example of a really bad radio drama. Continue reading Radio Drama
A childrens’ book Continue reading Floppy Fred
Voicemail from Brigitte, received at 7.30am: ‘…just get home in one piece. I can’t wait to hold you.’ Continue reading Pieces
I wrote this to help me get my head around the complicated poetry form and ended up liking how weird it was Continue reading Understanding The Villanelle Form
The worst first date ever recorded Continue reading First Date
Today I had the pleasure of sharing and editing this poem with Andrew Mitchell. Here is the final draft. Continue reading Inversion of the Male Gaze
Random hungover happenings Continue reading Hungover
The original piece that inspired ‘Pieces’ Continue reading Grandparents in London